Ladies and Gentlemen, The Teacher Has Left The Building...

And Thank God! Actually I finished up my last day at the Hills school yesterday - not pictured above. Hills was by far the best English teaching job I have ever had and by extension the best job I have ever had. Unfortunately, it was only part-time. Nonetheless, I am thoroughly happy to be out of the teaching racket. Although I never disliked the actual work involved, migrant farmers, sweatshop workers and prostitutes are all treated better by their employers than the overseas English teacher (with the glaring exception of the school mentioned above). I may again step into the classroom, but hopefully that day will be far in the future and in a situation where I am never again financially dependent on teaching. May the heavens curse every lousy teacher employer in Asia!!!

Well, here goes my monthly update. In a bizarre twist on a bizarre situation working for a bizarre company... I gave a month's notice to G-Nova that I was going to resign. Now, the company is spiraling toward disaster as it is hugely understaffed with no viable means of recruitment. Even so, the crazy manager saw fit to put me on standby for the better part of the month. So paid vacation for yours truly. Yay! Ironically, the person who was slated to replace me from another school also resigned. Was I asked to come off of standby? Yes. For one day at a branch located who knows where. I informed them of my unavailability. G-Communications has managed to acquire a basement-dweller and then put in a bottom where you thought one already existed. I couldn't have imagined that anything could be worse than the management of the former company, but the G-men have accomplished just that.

My poor blog.

I neglect it like a red-headed stepchild. Actually, I was ready with some real vitriol aimed at my current employer, but I thought it wise to wait until I landed a new job before spewing forth. Well, I got the new job. I start in May. I must simply finish up 5 weeks in what has become one of the worst jobs of my life. I would still elect the hardware store I worked at for one summer as the worst, but that was simply part-time so I don't know if it's comparable. The 'New Nova' makes the old one look like paradise on earth. A shortage of teachers (who would work for these guys of their own accord?) has lead to five person lessons becoming the norm. The students are some of the more miserable ones who have become terminal learners - seeing Nova as a means and an end in itself. The conversation lounge bristles over with more of the same. It is like some bizarre teaching purgatory. On top or which, the company still hasn't given most teachers veritable contracts and those wanting to take paid (or unpaid) holidays best look to the next bankruptcy as their best chance.

Teenage Sweet Mullet indeed!

...from the cover of a Thai magazine in case you were interested. It seems Sweet Mullet is a rock band.

In other news, although I haven't gotten around to repairing the computer keyboard, I did buy an external one with the annoying Japanese layout, which makes finding the correct punctation difficult. Such is life...

A more thorough update on work will be forthcoming. Hopefully, the next several months will be bearable at the current setup and fruitful in the job search department.

Not only is it a bargain sale, but also price down and limited sale

Having fried the keyboard on my new computer, it's with great appreciation that I welcome back the Captain's creative genius.

Dear Mr G****,

I am writing regarding your complaint concerning the application process for positions vacant in the R/D department of the Kyushu Tuna Farm Feasibility Project.

As I am sure you are aware we protect the confidentiality of all applications and take the issue of applicant privacy very seriously; to this end I am unable to give you any information regarding which applicant gained the position and to how we arrived at a final shortlist. Although I cannot fulfill your request for information I can give you a breakdown of why your own application was unsuccessful.

1.Throughout my career in both university and governmental level commercial piscine breeding research projects I have yet to come across a food fish, either freshwater or oceanic, that required tutelage in the difference between noun and verb forms in modern English. Although you make a good case for ever depleting tuna stocks needing business English to get ahead in the "ever tightening Asian job market", I do not believe that a) tuna have a larynx that can manipulate air flow to the degree required for human speech, or b) they care one whit above nothing about eikaiwa jobs opening up across Beijing and other industrial Chinese cities.

2. As you state in your resume and referred to a number of times in your letter of complaint you have, having grown up in rural New England, had a great deal of exposure to modern ploughing techniques. Although your proposal to set up a training program to improve our general skill base here at KTFFP I feel it is important to point out that fish farms have never, to the best of my knowledge, employed Peterbilt or John Deer tractor equipment at any of the world`s fish farms.

I hope this letter has answered your questions fully and successfully.

Kind regards,

Toshiko Yamada, Chief Researcher and Personnel Officer, KTFFP

For your consumption

With all my attention focused on the plight of Nova and its teachers I failed to dedicate much page space to the students. In order to rectify this, Niles P. Witherspoon III was sent on assignment to get a feel for how the students are enduring life without their regular fix of communication with the foreign countries people.

Hironobu Ogura is a former Nova student of five years who found himself out two hundred thousand yen when Nova filed for protective bankruptcy on the 26th of October. His frustration surely resonates with many who were caught up in what is being dubbed the worst post-war consumer scandal to hit Japan.

NPWIII: Mr. Ogura, bring us back, if you will, to the moment when you first learned Nova was closed and you wouldn't be able to continue classes.

HO: I'm fine thank you and you.

NPWIII: Very well, thank you. So, when did you find out Nova was closed?

HO: Maa...soo desu ne... I think Nova close...maybe end October...kana.

NPWIII: Precisely, the end of October. But what was your reaction to losing so much money. You were out almost 2ooo dollars American, were you not?

HO: You are American people? I very like New York. Also Los...I am baseball fan Dodgers. How about you?

NPWIII: Ah, well, I suppose if I were forced to patronize a sporting contest, it would be cricket. Anyway, back to the main thrust of this. Were you quite angry that Nova's bankruptcy essentially defrauded you of a lot of money?

HO: I think so. How about you?

NPWIII: No, no. I never attended Nova. I am a journalist. The question is...Are...you...angry? (making devil horns with my fingers - Japanese body language for angry).

HO: Oh yes! Anry. Maa...ne... And I question you?

NPWIII: Very well.

HO: Can you eat Japanese food?

NPWIII: I do like it, if that's your question.

HO: Can you raw fish?

NPWIII: Sushi? Yes. Now back to Nova. Would you consider signing up with the new Nova? New Nova good?

HO: How about Japanese chopstick? You can use?

NPWIII: Good lord. I do hope Nova reopens quickly. You certainly need another 5 years.

HO: Thank you for your kindness.

The Devil Is In The Detail

This is a shot of a an enka performance held in front of the station where I've started back to work. Enka is a form of Japanese music that predates J-pop. It's heavy on vocals with a muzak accompaniment. Think cat strangulation in an elevator.

This is a pond


I started work yesterday for G-Nova. To clarify Nova is a school name that is owned by G-Communication and seemingly overseen by G-Education, a subsidiary of G-Communication. To the best of my understanding Nova is not a company owned by G-Communications in so far as we will be receiving our wages directly through G-Communications which owns G-Education, which in turn is running some former Nova schools under the Nova name. Hope that was as clear as mud. Without going into all the dry details, we were given two options - a)immediate employment and a 50,000yen salary advance if so desired / b) a payment (retainer fee) of 150,000yen to start work January 10th. About two-thirds of us took the first option as it was more money overall. One thing that surprised me is that there were only about twenty-five teachers that were in a attendance yesterday. This was the first branch to open in the region and would be the starting point for most teachers left in the area. Twenty five is only about five teachers heavy to run the branch (it used to be fairly big) at full capacity, meaning that there is not as much excess as I had predicted. Unless I am extrapolating too much from one random school, G-Nova doesn't have the teacher numbers to open very many branches. And then there is the one-third that chose the potential 'take the money and run' option b. Will they even bother to come back now that they have airfare home?

All the lights are on, but no one's home

I taught a private lesson yesterday at the shopping center where one of my old branches was located. A now notorious 'satellite' school that was part of the recipe for disaster,this branch never had more than one teacher at any given time and often the students (if there were any) got lucky man to man lessons. In short,the place was hemorrhaging money. Although it will likely never reopen, it's protected by the bankruptcy proceedings. The lights in the back were off, but I assume that the front lights are on the shopping center circuit, hence the useless illumination.

In other news, I was contacted by the G-men. If you think this takes some of the bite out of my last post, I would disagree. Their timing may seem fortuitous, but I held off on that post for several days. As for my assertion that we were somewhat misled...I stand by it. So will I go back and work for these guys? Yes. Why? Why not? They are going to give me my old days off allowing my to continue working at Hills. The combined income is something I couldn't get elsewhere without entering the perilous world of headhunting. I'm not going to cut off my nose in spite of my face. I came back to Japan for one reason, and one reason only...money. I would be back in Thailand tomorrow if I had a financial windfall. My purpose in being here is not to build a career, rather than to save enough that in 3 to 5 years I can return to Thailand with money invested. My hope is that the investment will create a second income stream that will equal that of a teaching salary. In other words, my total income would be double that of an average TEFLer in Thailand. If I can achieve this then I will be more or less financially secure and will have a lifestyle that I would not have otherwise. The only question is will G-Nova be around for another 3 to 5 years. That will be the subject for another post. But things are not off to a stellar start...