Interesting personal events have transpired today that lead me to reflect on an age old quandary of the ESL teacher abroad... socilaizing with students. My former employer expressly forbade student-teacher socialization, so much so that it was a part of the contract we signed. For the most part I didn't socialize with students, but more due to the nature of my job than the contract stipulation. The fact of the matter is that for anyone engaged in teaching a language to speakers of another language, to go out and socialize is in effect lengthening your class, unless of course the socializing takes place in a different language from that which is taught, and that is rarely the case, and I would like to apologize for what must be the world's most poorly constructed sentence. To ESL teachers who have been around for any amount of time in a country socializing with students is often undesirable and at times torturous. I make the analogy of the doctor who is hit up for medical advice outside of work, or the cook whose friends would like him to whip up a little something. When you spend all day at a task, you probably don't want to continue that task in your free time. There are exceptions. Love interests are a definite exception. If your conversation partner is attractive it is easy enough to sit through verbal misconjugations and missing articles. The other big exception is the newly arrived teacher - and most ESL teachers fall into this category. For this individual, mixing with the locals is big part of the reason they are teaching. They probably do not have enough language skill to make contacts in the local language and probably also lack a social network. It is because of this that so many ESL teachers spend time outside the classroom with their students.
The whole idea of a(n) (anti) socialization policy is an interesting debate. On the one hand, your employer shouldn't be allowed to dictate your free time activities/associations, yet even at home there are certain expectations around 'professional distance' that educators are expected to conform to. The other issue that is unique to the ESL teacher is that of what is being sold. If I have beer with my Algebra professor, we are not necessarily talking about A's over 3's (whatever the hell I mean by that?) , but the ESL teacher is most likely providing a service very similar to that which the students are getting in class when the teacher socializes. That brings up questions of business ethics and employee loyalty. In short, there are some pitfalls that are inherent for the ESL teacher who 'hangs' with the students. Does that wind me back to today? Why yes. I exchanged numbers with a student last week, mostly out of genuine surprise and non-anticipation of the situation; I didn't want to be rude. At the previous workplace the you know the Nova rule, don't you? was usually enough to dissuade students from trying to make plans with me. No such policy to fall back on here. The other thing that ran through my mind was, 'Why not? I don't really know anyone in Khon Kaen and I am not as stale on the Thai student yet as I was on the Japanese student.' So he called and after some phone tag, and a talk with my girlfriend (I don't want to go into that) I had a brief, uncomfortable conversation with him in English (maybe more uncomfortable for me) trying my best to excuse my way out of a party. I will see him tomorrow in class. No big deal really, but I don't know how far you can push the 'next time' thing sincerely. In the end, that may be the biggest argument against socialization with students - no matter what happens you still have to face them the next day in class. To each his/her own, but I prefer that my friends are just that...friends.