Tuesday, April 19, 2005
I am at one of those points that further fuels the cynic in me while making a whipping boy of the small optimist that remains. Other than the fact I am unable to stop my financial hemorrhaging, I am stuck (very temporarily) in a job that brings out laziest in me. There is so little in the way of responsible administering and guidance that I fall into the rut of expecting nothing of my lessons. This is further reinforced by students who could care less about what’s being delivered as long as it is replete with games and the opportunity to use Thai as much as possible. Nobody becomes and overseas English teacher because it is a satisfactory line of work.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005
I’ve been battling a stress headache since the late afternoon. It’s a convergence of things, but the igniting spark was a response to an application to my former employer that I submitted earlier in the week. They wanted some additional information. It got me to thinking that there was the slimmest of possibilities they could say no to rehiring me. Not that I can see one reason why they wouldn’t – I have the assurance of my former boss that the ‘rehire’ box on my exit form was ticked. Still, it’s possible that someone somewhere for some reason would decide, ‘screw it, we’ve had enough of these whiney, I-want-my-job-back bastards’ and that would be that. The iceberg under the water is in part the way I was feeling yesterday, coupled with a headshaking cynicism towards my current employer. They have slated me for a TOEFL test class, which is fairly material heavy. I don’t mind doing it, but as of now there’s no material and the administrator is on about, “I wonder if we should get some material.” It’s like asking a law student if they want books to study for the bar. To delve into expletives – ri-fucking-diculous. If all goes well, I am only three months from heading back to Japan and I’ll be happy to give this job the heave-ho, despite (or due to) the fact that the working environment is so laid back.