“I got about two months in Southeast Asia. A man like yourself might have some advice on where and how I should spend my time. Care to impart any of your travel wisdom?” Ben’s tone bordered on flattery, but with a hint of sarcasm.
“Listen, mate. You can go North or South. If I was you, I’d head North first and then reward yourself with the beaches later, but it’s all a matter of taste. I suggest you head up toward Laos. You can skip Chang Mai – tourist trap nowadays. They say Chang Rai is the new Chang Mai, but that’s bullshit. Give it a miss and skip the Thai hill tribes. It’s fucking Disney World now. They got markets set up just waiting for a fresh group of trekkers to come through. If hill tribes is what you’re after than try Laos, although don’t expect much better than Chang Mai in that respect. Thailand is just the hub these days. A drop off point, so get out as quickly as possible. Do Laos, Nam’, and Cambodia. There’s a whole traveler’s circuit. Hard to avoid, but not so bad for a first timer like yourself. Once you’ve done the North, head down to Andaman Sea. Stay away from Phuket or Samui unless you’ve got a thing for fat Germans in tight thongs. Krabi isn’t bad, but filled with Swedes. Nice place if you’re looking for a bit of Swedish tail. Malaysia worth it if you got the money, but a touch more expensive than the Land of Smiles. Too bad you didn’t get yourself here about ten years ago. It was very, very, good at that time, mate. India’s really the place now. That’s where I’m headed, but frankly I hear the best spots are already overrun. Bloody tourists, but what’s a fella to do, yeah?”