Another visit from Ma Song. For those who don’t know, Ma Song will probably one day wear the dubious title of mother-in-law. She certainly is getting in shape for the part. She stayed over the last two nights, and I tell you, the lady has an innate sense for what will drive me up the wall and she uses this gift to said end. Just to give you a bit of the picture – the woman is in her mid-fifties and goes about in tiger/leopard/cheetah/just-about-any-big-cat patterned clothing. She has a fine mastery of about five English verbs and is convinced that the imperative in our language is formed by repeating any word twice, “Matt, Eat! Eat!” “Matt, Take! Take!” “Matt, Go! Go!” – you get the idea. On top of the annoying habit of ordering me about (and I am powerless to ignore or argue as she won’t understand) that her daughter is also growing proficient at, she is able to detect what I wouldn’t want done, and do it. Case and point, I have been letting some vines grow along the walls of the house as they look good and are easily trimmed. My girlfriend claims they are weeds, but what is a weed really, I ask you. Anyway, Ma Song was up at the crack of dawn the other morning, a village habit, and sure enough when I awoke all of my vines had been weeded. Another example, I have several button down shirts that I only dry clean. They were somewhat expensive and dry cleaning seems to ensure their long usage. I put one of these in the hamper and sure enough the next morning it had been hand scrubbed (read ruined) by Ma Song. I know the lady is trying to be helpful, but she had already washed all the clothes in the house, I figured I was safe. Another classic Ma Song, and I’ll leave it on this as it’s the best, she takes some paper towels to dust of the car – nice gesture – then proceeds to throw them on the ground in our front yard. Thanks to her the car is clean, but the lawn is strewn with litter. Oh yeah, she is still convinced the re-elected prime minister is going to provide a cow per household. No need to start throwing paper towels at the pasture yet, Ma; I think you have time.

Brief entry as I have to bugger off to work in a half-an-hour. I just had a job interview in which I was offered a lower per hour rate than I had been anticipating. I accepted anyway as it’s just short term and the next two months could see me in a good way financially if I work hard. The job in question was willing to work around my full-time hours. Nonetheless, they asked me to design a French course for them. I said not for the amount they were paying. It then seemed that they could come up with a textbook. Just a minute ago I received a phone call from a University looking for a teacher. Sad thing about the Uni’s over here is that their salaries are a complete joke, the University position being offered was no exception. If I was a rich idealist maybe… Be Smart (my full-time) has asked me to draw up a plan for a pronunciation course. I don’t know how detailed they want it, but I know how detailed they’re gonna get it. It’s not that they are downright stingy in salary, but coupled with the visa situation, hence lack of an official contract, and their general “maybe you’ll have this class, maybe you won’t” attitude, I can’t see myself busting ass for them. I am starting to understand the nature of teaching in Thailand. Cynical already, I think the smile, say yes and do nothing approach can be used by me as well as them.

Idle talk last night between me and the missus about buying a house. It started at the local department store where a real-estate representative was displaying model houses for a new housing community. I already spoke a bit about the housing situation as we visited a housing community in construction when we first arrived in Khon Kaen. There is some temptation in buying a house because of the relative value. Essentially one could get a house for around 1million baht (25,000$) that has a fair amount of floor space and a little yard. Home ownership is one of those things that most people aspire to in life and to have the chance to get into a house for a down payment of 1-200,000 baht (do the math, lazy - you already have an example) and a monthly mortgage payment of 5000 baht almost seems the chance of a lifetime. There are those who will read this and think, “A house in Thailand? Does it come complete with the tar roof and water cistern in the back?” I assure you that we are talking about nice houses here. The ones we initially toured were a tad more expensive than my above example, but would pass for upper-middle class in a developed country. Even the less expensive ones are quite comfortable and as long as the walls don’t cave in and the wiring is solid… The thing is, due to the climate there’s no need to worry about insulation, heating, etc. In Thailand the waterworks aren’t the greatest, but as long as water comes out of the faucet you are pretty well set in the plumbing department. The brilliance of Khon Kaen is that it is a city with access to lots of modern amenities; cinemas, fast food, plenty of electronics/computer type stores, and yet remains in a part of the country where the land prices are still quite low - around the Bangkok area housing is as much as triple the price. The downside of Khon Kaen of course is the relatively low salaries. Still a nice place to live with cheap, comfortable housing that – I will step on the toes of Japan based readers – is way better than anything anyone could hope to get into in Japan, and that includes the Japanese themselves. As compared to North America, the housing wouldn’t be far off North American standards and a down payment wouldn’t include groveling before every relative you know and sticking up several gas stations.
Now the question becomes can we afford a down payment and mortgage payment coupled with car payments, the answer is yes, but not with much room to maneuver. So, we raised the subject of a money grab in Bangkok, or… that overcrowded island from which I just came. Food for thought more than anything else, but the idea is spinning around in my mind. Depending on visa procural for significant others, a year in a shoe box would pay off the car and set us well ahead of the game with a house. On the other hand, a year in a shoe box could be a very stressful thing. Hmmm…

Sunday, February 20, 2005
I must be the world’s worst negotiator. How else to explain my insistence that 300 baht hourly was sufficient, despite the lady at the school asking, “Are you sure you don’t want to negotiate for more?” No, no, really I insist I am worth no more than 300 an hour. I should backtrack slightly. I applied for a job. I have a job of sorts, but always looking for something better I answered an internet ad. When I went into to talk to the woman at the school what was not immediately clear was that she was an employee, and obviously with little stake in the bottom line, hence her advice that I should negotiate for more money. Part of my difficulty in dealing with potential or actual employers in this country is the language barrier. Initially this lady seemed to say that the job was offering 300 baht an hour part-time. When I filled out the application and wrote 300 in the ‘negotiated salary’ box, I was doing so because (silly product of a transparent society) I believed that was what we negotiated when she said, “The job pays 300 baht an hour”. Evidently not so. In the course of the interview I also discussed my current job situation. When I showed the lady how much I was being paid for a full-time position she countered with the same salary. I found this utterly perplexing. Here I have a job and am making x amount of money – why would I quit and come to work for you for the same amount of money?
When dealing with my employer I run into Anna Leowens, “The King and I” differences. First interview: “Will you provide me with a visa?” – “Yes, we will. It’s easy”. Consequent visa discussion: “What do I need for the visa application?” - “Here’s a list of things.” Yet again: “Any word on the visa?” – “The um, what do you call it? Work permit? I think is um, I don’t know the word, but like, we are getting something, but I have to talk to someone.” Again: “Will you be able to give me the letter necessary to take to the Thai consulate in Laos that will furnish me with a Non-Immigrant B visa so that I can work? – “I don’t know. Make me a copy of your passport and I will ask someone.” Look at the evolution from the first discussion to the last, bottom line – we can give you a visa / we have no friggin’ clue. The lady at my school has, according to certificates posted on the wall, an MBA and a Master’s in Applied Linguistics from English speaking universities. I don’t know if the Royal Academy of Business in Sydney Australia is working in conjunction with the good people at McDonalds and handing out MBAs with Happy Meals, but I certainly wouldn’t be surprised to find that was the case. As for a Master’s in Applied Linguistics, I would hope that she further applies herself to the learning of vocabulary related to immigration matters, words like; embassy, consulate, sponsorship, documents, give, we, can/cannot, would all be genuinely useful and, dare I say it, applicable. My mom, no great expert in comparative Asian studies, hit the nail on the head (sort of) when she said Japan was much more westernized than Thailand. Actually, that’s not fair – developed might be closer to it, but even more than that is the idea of a post-industrial society versus one that is, at least in mentality, still agrarian. How can I expect efficiency and dependability from a people who still believe that they are at the whim of the elements? “I can’t make the rice grow, only the rain can.”

On Monday morning we hopped in the car and drove three hours (maybe two, I wasn’t paying attention) to Nong Khai, the town that borders Laos on the Mekong and is home to the closest immigration office. For the princely sum of 2000 baht (50$) I was given another thirty days in the Kingdom. My next trip to Nong Khai will see me crossing the border into Laos to connive my way into some sort of more permanent visa.
I love driving in Thailand. The roads are generally well-maintained and the scenery is often, surely not always, spectacular. I keep forgetting to bring my camera on these trips, but I won’t next time. The dry grasslands are marked by tremendous trees – almost like something you would see on a National Geographic, “Let’s discover the Serengeti” type show. My girlfriend finds it all rather banal, adding to my sense of fun and her sense of boredom. There is still a lot in Thailand that I want to see, even in this region and it is all fairly accessible by car. No tolls I might add. After living in the world’s worst country for domestic travel, it’s nice to be in a place where road travel is feasible time wise, affordable, and rather pleasant along the way. Unfortunately, Japan couldn’t tick yes next to even one of those boxes. I’m hoping to take a trip to Sukhotai this summer. It is one of the country’s former capitals, replete with old stone stuff that is falling down, but still looks pretty cool. I believe that is the dictionary definition for ruins.
Yesterday was out to the village to pick up some mail and other errands. As it is the season in which there is no work and much laying-about, the villagers are as sleepy as ever. The place almost looked deserted when we first drove in. I imagine that beyond the poverty, one of the real hardships of life in Nong Sao must be the tedium. That may lend itself, in part to some of the alcoholism. I know I would sure want a drink if I lived there with nothing to do for a good several months in the year. We did have the chance to do something nice, however. We took two of Pocky’s cousins, five and four years-old to town to buy some school clothes. The younger boy didn’t have the ‘uniform’ (it was only a pair of blue shorts and light blue button-down shirt) that was required to go to Kindergarten, so we bought him the uniform, shoes and back pack. His sister had hand-me-down clothes for school, but needed some shoes, so we bought her a pair. It looks as if Muu, meaning ‘pig’, will now be able to go to school and his sister will have some nice school shoes.
When I was young my dad moved into a fully furnished rental house. The owners had a strange sense of humor and the place was adorned with funny posters, at least we thought so. In the basement was one of a man decked out in full English riding suit with his horse truncheon and all, foot up on the bumper of a Roll’s Royce. The caption read Poverty Sucks! I think the poster just about sums it up, albeit not in the way perhaps intended.

In some ways my experience living in Japan prepared me well for Thailand. Through Japan I have come to understand ideas of hierarchal relationships, group-orientated behavior and filial piety (meaning I can live with my parents until the ripe-old-age of whenever they die). On the other hand, Japan has actually stunted my ability to deal with Thailand in certain respects. I would have done better to come straight from the US to Thailand when it comes to some practices.
Japan is the ultimate tape-on-the-floor society. Whenever I entered a business, store or governmental office I had but to look at my feet to know where to go. At first the hapless gaijin ignores such boundaries, but with time and reprimands I came to see the wisdom of staying within the lines. The lines are our friends. The lines are here to help us. Why would you want to step out of the lines? Everywhere in Japan there are signs when there are not lines, or sometimes both – that’s when I feel the most secure. The sign reads wait here and is accompanied by a marker on the floor, I can be at ease. Here is one of those nasty deictic (pointing) words that is actually quite ambiguous, but coupled with the tape on the floor I know exactly where here is. Sometimes, like in banks, there is a person, floor markers and signs. It’s like entering temple; you can let go of all conscious thought. The ‘queue’ is also quite important in Japan. Japanese people are natural liner-uppers. The first thing that any Japanese person does upon encountering a gathering of people is to figure out where to line up. It is for that reason that concert promoters have such difficulty in the Land of the Rising Sun. I am getting off track. So, my years in Japan taught me to keep my head down and find the back of the line. This is now my downfall…
In Thailand there are no boundaries. It’s not the same rebellious American attitude of ‘fuck the line – you can't box me in dude, I gotta be me’. It is just that no one ever bothered with lines (or often signs) in the first place. Moreover, the Thai don’t believe in that most Western, linear of concepts – first come, first serve. In order that no one loses face the Thai approach is to serve everyone who appears at the same time. No need to bother with a progressive order – do everything at once. It is not an idea that is going to revolutionize mechanized industry, information technology or the tying of a shoe; nonetheless it’s what goes down when approaching a cash register in Thailand. I am not to sure, but I believe that physicists studying chaos theory might do well to observe the Thai 7/11 staff if they wish a working model.
And there I am looking at the floor and then at the signs, which I can not read, then towards a member of the personnel on premise, hoping against hope that s/he will be wearing a white glove and will point me where to go so that I can find the end of the line, so that I can safely ‘queue’ thereby relieving the terrible anxiety I feel. Whoa is me, there exists not gloved angel to show me the garden gate. I am left to my own device until the latent American in me awakes, pushes to the front and demands service, at which point I am greeted with a smile by the wait staff and the other patrons. Cursed Japan! God Bless the USA!

Interesting personal events have transpired today that lead me to reflect on an age old quandary of the ESL teacher abroad... socilaizing with students. My former employer expressly forbade student-teacher socialization, so much so that it was a part of the contract we signed. For the most part I didn't socialize with students, but more due to the nature of my job than the contract stipulation. The fact of the matter is that for anyone engaged in teaching a language to speakers of another language, to go out and socialize is in effect lengthening your class, unless of course the socializing takes place in a different language from that which is taught, and that is rarely the case, and I would like to apologize for what must be the world's most poorly constructed sentence. To ESL teachers who have been around for any amount of time in a country socializing with students is often undesirable and at times torturous. I make the analogy of the doctor who is hit up for medical advice outside of work, or the cook whose friends would like him to whip up a little something. When you spend all day at a task, you probably don't want to continue that task in your free time. There are exceptions. Love interests are a definite exception. If your conversation partner is attractive it is easy enough to sit through verbal misconjugations and missing articles. The other big exception is the newly arrived teacher - and most ESL teachers fall into this category. For this individual, mixing with the locals is big part of the reason they are teaching. They probably do not have enough language skill to make contacts in the local language and probably also lack a social network. It is because of this that so many ESL teachers spend time outside the classroom with their students.
The whole idea of a(n) (anti) socialization policy is an interesting debate. On the one hand, your employer shouldn't be allowed to dictate your free time activities/associations, yet even at home there are certain expectations around 'professional distance' that educators are expected to conform to. The other issue that is unique to the ESL teacher is that of what is being sold. If I have beer with my Algebra professor, we are not necessarily talking about A's over 3's (whatever the hell I mean by that?) , but the ESL teacher is most likely providing a service very similar to that which the students are getting in class when the teacher socializes. That brings up questions of business ethics and employee loyalty. In short, there are some pitfalls that are inherent for the ESL teacher who 'hangs' with the students. Does that wind me back to today? Why yes. I exchanged numbers with a student last week, mostly out of genuine surprise and non-anticipation of the situation; I didn't want to be rude. At the previous workplace the you know the Nova rule, don't you? was usually enough to dissuade students from trying to make plans with me. No such policy to fall back on here. The other thing that ran through my mind was, 'Why not? I don't really know anyone in Khon Kaen and I am not as stale on the Thai student yet as I was on the Japanese student.' So he called and after some phone tag, and a talk with my girlfriend (I don't want to go into that) I had a brief, uncomfortable conversation with him in English (maybe more uncomfortable for me) trying my best to excuse my way out of a party. I will see him tomorrow in class. No big deal really, but I don't know how far you can push the 'next time' thing sincerely. In the end, that may be the biggest argument against socialization with students - no matter what happens you still have to face them the next day in class. To each his/her own, but I prefer that my friends are just that...friends.

The Thai media is something. Everything is something, but the Thai media is really something, if you know what I mean, and you probably don’t. I don’t know much about the media in terms of reporting, but in terms of images I have never seen such visceral, bloody photos appear in newspapers or on TV elsewhere like I have in Thailand. Let’s say the headline is Local Official Shot Dead. In other countries you might get a picture of the bereaved wife, the scene of the crime, or possibly the official when he was alive. In Thailand you get the prone corpse in a pool of blood with two bullet holes in what used to be the local official’s face. Not a lot left to the imagination.
Thai TV is quite fun too. The acting may actually be worse than that off Japanese TV, but we would really be splitting hairs here, so I leave it as equally loathsome to Japanese acting. The acting isn’t that fun, but the dramas are. Usually no language skill is necessary. The plots revolve around super-rich people who are evil using their power to ruin others lives. Now where is the escapism in that? Seems to me like everyday reality. The best, though, is the ghosts that appear in the dramas. The Thai all believe in ghosts and from time to time some terrible actor with white powder on his face will show up in someone’s home… it is supposed to be scary. I won’t go into too much detail, but imagine a group of Junior High School students given professional AV equipment and then casting some of their friends and asking some other friends to write the script – that is Thai TV for you.

Learning is essentially going from a state of ignorance to one of knowledge. We are ignorant of something and through the process of learning we come to understand the thing. Most human beings grasp the process of learning as such, nonetheless I have come across, and continue to, some people for whom the process of learning can never really commence because “I don’t understand.” Of course you don’t understand, if you understood you wouldn’t be sitting in my classroom. Once again I have one of these students in my class. It’s a beginner’s class and there are some different ability levels in the class, but they are all more or less false beginners per the ESL terminology, meaning they have had some exposure to English, the alphabet and have a passive vocabulary of several hundred words. In any case, this one lady almost immediately starts in with ‘I don’t understand’ in Thai. I was trying to convey the basic How are you? greeting. It doesn’t matter that the student instantaneously grasps the concept. Over the passage of time (every time we meet and start the class) they will come to understand that they are using a greeting. For the purposes of teaching using the direct method (only using the target language) it is enough to teach the appropriate responses to the question. To the uninitiated there are only several acceptable ways to answer what is really more of greeting than a question – I’m good, thanks. You? / Not bad, yourself?/ etc.. So again, it’s just a question of retaining at least one response. As we went around the room everyone did fine with the concept, except for Ms. Mai Khao Jai (don’t understand). I have encountered the same thing in Japan and will not pin this trait on any one nationality. I find it more laughable than anything else. Imagine I ask a physics professor to explain to me the theory of relativity. The first thing s/he does is to write E=MC2 on the board. As soon as s/he finishes, but before the explanation begins, I raise my hand and say “I don’t understand”. That is essentially what this type of language learner is doing. Exasperating.

Monday, February 07, 2005
Yesterday it was a short trip to the village to vote in the national election. Thaksin, the incumbent, and his Thais Love Thailand party (has a certain ring to it?) were again elected to power. I don’t pretend to know, or care, much about the Thai political scene, however Thaksin is a populist and everyone in the village excluding my girlfriend was voting for him. Why? Because, according to the villagers (none of whom I have ever seen with a newspaper), he was going to give everyone a cow. I am tempted to twirl this around pizza-like in the air and make every facetious comment possible about it, but I’ll just let you ponder it quietly once more – the villagers voted for him because they think they will all receive one cow. Now that I think of it, didn’t Bush use the same tactic to capture the Midwestern vote? Or was it the promise of one pig per household that garnished him the Southern vote? Well, Thaksin was successful in large part due to the Isaan vote. I hope he knows a good cattle wholesaler.
In other news, my girlfriend has found a job in a dental clinic. When she asked about her schedule the dentist said, “We’d like you to work (such and such), but ask your boyfriend first.” It seems that the lady is actually going to allow Pocky to set her schedule around my desires. Hmmm… I am also starting another class that will run Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. I will be working five days a week. I don’t know if I have it in my anymore. The lady at the school started talking about the visa process again. I am thoroughly convinced that she has no clue whatsoever, but this is Thailand, so if I go with the flow things often turn out all right. Again yesterday at the voting poll a policeman came up to me and shook my hand. Even when we were stopped for driving without a license plate (hey, the dealer said we could!) the cop only looked at my New Hampshire license - like that means anything. In all my dealings with the police – and there have been more than I would have liked – never once have I had to furnish any ‘official’ ID, such as passport, driver’s license or alien card, which, incidentally doesn’t exist in Thailand to my knowledge. So, I am assuming that I could stay here in rural Thailand for the rest of my life and never have any problems. It’s just the leaving part that’s a bugger. But imagine it, a lifetime in Isaan with no need for legal status. Aren’t you jealous?

Wednesday, February 02, 2005
So I am online now. It was simply a modem error that was easily rectified, but it was the fact that someone more knowledgeable than the broad (that’s the best word I can think of for her) that usually answered the phone picked up when we called to inquire yet again as to why we weren’t connected. In short, she had completely lied about why we couldn’t access the net on several occasions – the best being when she said no one in Khon Kaen was connected at the time. I am starting to learn the Thai penchant for lying versus admitting ignorance of something.
I forgot to mention my Sunday snake beheading. The little bugger slithered into our kitchen. He probably was able to slide under the screen door. I think I have fixed this problem now, but let me say that we have had rats, roaches and lizards in the kitchen and I thought I had every last crack and cranny duct-taped. So I go into the kitchen and the little thing scared the bejeezus out of me. I jumped onto the counter like an agile middle-aged housewife. I don’t know what species of snake it was, most likely harmless, but I ain’t gonna find out with a bite to me ankle, so we stood on kitchen chairs and tried to chase the thing outside. It got under the refrigerator and I gave it a good blast of roach killer. It didn’t take to that. It stuck out its little head and hissed, hissed, hissed. I swung my sword (don’t ask) and missed, missed, missed. Before I go the Dr. Seuss route anymore, in the end I managed to decapitate my angry belly-ambulating friend. Ha, take that. In truth, I hate snakes and even after it was without head the nerves kept it undulating. Plus, it was still lodged under the fridge and I had to pull it out. Nasty. We caught a rat earlier on and that was gross as well. Stuck on our glue trap the thing would occasionally try to raise its stuck head. Pocky had to dump it in the trash due to the fact that she bought the trap (I thought I could simply plug the hole and avoid the slaughter). I won’t bore you with roach stories, but we got all varieties of those too.

Friday, February 04, 2005
Well, it’s my last day off before I start my rigorous weekend of teaching. In fact, I think I am only working on Saturday. The national election is held on Sunday and everything is shutting down. Of course I wasn’t told about this by the school, so whether I am teaching or not we will find out – typical of Thailand, but who am I to complain. I don’t exactly have the tightest schedule in the world. So a whole five days have passed and the one task I had to complete remains uncompleted. That is going to a clinic for a medical certificate as part of my visa application. Anyone interested in a humorous take on the Thai Visa situation should check out my column at www.ajarn.com . In the job realm, I applied for a job at a Kindergarten and was promptly informed they were looking for someone with a degree in early childhood education. Fair enough. Sour grapes, but I wasn’t that keen on teaching that age group full-time, though I have certainly taught, and enjoyed, three, four and five year-olds. The thing that attracted me was a great salary package. I had to give it a shot. They were offering 10,000baht more than my current employer, plus insurance, airfare home and housing allowance. Here’s the question I ask myself, “Who are they going to find with desired degree?” Even in their ad they admit that Khon Kaen doesn’t have a lot to offer the foreigner in terms of free time activities. Basically, the person, most likely woman, would have to speak fluent Thai and like Khon Kaen or have a Thai partner. I have seen about one foreign woman to every twenty foreign men here. I don’t think it takes a genius to guess why. The point is Khon Kaen is not a place that someone without a lot of language skill and gumption is going to try on their own and that doesn’t really mesh with my image of a Kindergarten teacher. It will be interesting to see how long the ad runs.

Some pics of Khon Kaen at http://community.webshots.com/user/mattheweric